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The Pitfalls of Love and Light

Writer's picture: Sarah BustamanteSarah Bustamante

In recent years, the phrase "love and light" has emerged as a popular mantra, particularly within healing circles. At first glance, it carries a beautiful sentiment, embodying positivity, hope, and a sense of community. However, it can also serve as a form of spiritual bypassing—a way of sidestepping the deeper, often more uncomfortable aspects of our emotional and psychological experiences.


Understanding Spiritual Bypassing

Spiritual bypassing occurs when individuals use positive thinking or spiritual practices to avoid confronting painful emotions or challenging situations. It’s an appealing escape hatch; after all, who wouldn’t want to embrace a mindset that promotes happiness and well-being? Yet, this tendency can lead to somatic bypassing, where we neglect the body's signals and responses associated with trauma.


When we choose avoidance or denial, our nervous system often remains in a state of dysregulation. This dysregulation can manifest as anxiety, tension, or even physical pain, creating a cycle that keeps us from truly healing. Rather than moving forward, we may find ourselves stuck in patterns of suffering that can feel inescapable.


Embracing Our Shadows

The importance of acknowledging our shadows—those parts of ourselves that we may find difficult or unworthy of love—cannot be overstated. These shadows include not only our fears and insecurities but also the emotions we deem negative, such as anger, sadness, or grief. Embracing our full selves, including these darker emotions, allows for deeper healing and growth.


True liberation from suffering comes not from avoiding our shadows but from integrating all our parts. This integration means recognizing that both dark and light are equally precious aspects of the full spectrum of our human experience. By accepting all facets of ourselves, we create a more authentic existence, free from the constraints of societal expectations.


The Role of Trauma-Informed Support

If you find yourself grappling with these issues, seeking out counselors, mentors, coaches, and therapists who are trauma-informed is crucial. These professionals can guide you to safely navigate your challenges rather than circumventing them, fostering a genuine healing process. They offer tools and techniques to help you confront your discomfort, allowing for a more comprehensive approach to healing.


The Yogic Perspective: Spanda

In yogic philosophy, the term "spanda" refers to the inherent pulsation of the universe, the rhythm of expansion and contraction. This principle reminds us that everything in life, including our emotions, ebbs and flows. Just as the universe experiences cycles, so too do our feelings. Acknowledging this can help normalize the difficult emotions that sometimes feel overwhelming.


Understanding that discomfort is a natural part of the healing journey allows us to embrace our full range of emotions. Rather than relegating ourselves to a perpetual state of "love and light," we can engage with the profound, transformative work that lies beneath the surface.


Moving Beyond the Surface

To move beyond the superficial allure of "love and light," we must be willing to delve into our emotional landscape. This journey may involve facing fears, embracing vulnerability, and allowing ourselves to feel uncomfortable. However, it’s through this process that we can cultivate resilience, self-awareness, and a deeper connection to our authentic selves.



If you're feeling stuck or unsure about how to navigate these feelings, I encourage you to reach out for support. Finding the right guidance can help you face your shadows and cultivate a deeper understanding of yourself. Whether through therapy, group support, or personal reflection, the path to healing is often richer when shared with others.


In conclusion, while "love and light" serves as a lovely reminder of the positivity we can cultivate, it should not become a shield that protects us from our deeper truths. Embracing all aspects of ourselves—both the light and the dark—creates a more balanced, fulfilling life. By engaging with our shadows, we open the door to true healing and transformation.

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*Disclaimer: The yoga therapy components of Sarah's practice are based on her Certification by PRYT and IAYT and not derived from her status as an RYT® with Yoga Alliance Registry. All activities, material and contents on SoulflyTherapy.com are spiritual in nature and are for informational and educational purposes only. This Web Site, its Materials and Content (including any information provided by users) is not intended to replace or substitute for any professional financial, medical, psychological, legal, or other advice. These services are complementary in nature and do not replace primary medical, psychological or psychiatric care. It should not be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always consult your professional healthcare providers before beginning any new treatment. If you have specific concerns or a situation in which you require professional or medical advice, you should consult with an appropriately trained and qualified specialist. Those under 21 years of age should not use this site except with adult supervision. SoulFlyTherapy.com assumes no responsibility or liability for any consequence resulting directly or indirectly from any action or inaction you take based on the information found on or material linked to on this site or on sessions.


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