Grief and the Unspoken: Why Your Pain Challenges Others

Grief is a complex and deeply personal journey, yet it often feels incredibly isolating. When we express our sorrow, it can create discomfort in those around us. This discomfort arises because grief confronts people with their own vulnerabilities and fears, forcing them to look in the mirror at parts of themselves they may have locked away. The unthinkable, staring dead in the face, can be a haunting reflection that many are not ready to face.

Society often perpetuates stigmas around grief, with phrases like "get over it" or "stop playing the victim" echoing in our minds. These sentiments can feel like waves crashing against a fragile shore, suggesting that our pain is an inconvenience or an unwelcome disturbance in the community. As a result, many of us choose to hide our grief, fearing we might make others uncomfortable or burden them with our emotions.

I vividly remember a time when my grief was overwhelming—a time when I felt like I was drowning in a swimming pool of sorrow. Instead of lifebuoys, there were boulders being thrown at me by well-meaning friends and family (and some not-so-well-meaning) who were uncomfortable with my pain. Their subtle invalidations made me feel like I had to lock my hurt away deep inside, festering rather than healing.

It was those who offered me refuge and solace—who encouraged me to express my feelings and let my grief pass through me—who became my lifelines. They created a safe space where I could process the weight of my loss without judgment. Through their support, I learned that it's not about moving around or past grief; it's about moving through it.

One of the most crucial steps in this process is setting boundaries with those who cannot accept or support our authentic expressions of grief. It’s essential to surround ourselves with people who can hold space for our pain, allowing us to heal rather than feel invalidated.

Grief does not have a timeline, nor does it adhere to societal expectations. It is a journey that requires patience and understanding, both from ourselves and from those around us. By embracing our grief and the discomfort it may bring to others, we take a step toward healing—not just for ourselves, but for those who may be struggling in silence.

Thank you for allowing me to share my thoughts and experiences with you. May you find the strength to express your grief authentically and seek out those who will walk alongside you in your process.

Register Here For The Next "Grief in Motion: A Somatic Workshop for Moving Through Hidden